I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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