I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
