Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
