And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
