marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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