this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
