I must be too annoying 4 u.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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