Sry I called you an 8
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
