im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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