btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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