Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize