There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
