Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Can I color on your dick again?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
