Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
did you just send me my own nude
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
