Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
