Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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