I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
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