This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
