I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
