He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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