"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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