I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
