do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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