Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
