What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I have fence marks all over my body
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
