Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
