I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
