shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
