His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
