i just wanna soil my oats bro
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
