drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
this hospital has no fireball
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
