she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize