If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
