that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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