Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
