I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize