yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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