Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
