His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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