So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
