I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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