he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
i now understand why vodka
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
