Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
