Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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