I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
where are you?
Hypothermia
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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