so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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