i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
