I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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