new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
