why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
