And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
