He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
