It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Randomize
