Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i already hear my dad disowning me
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
