I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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