"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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