and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
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