Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize