Sponge bath it is.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
The power of my boobs compel you
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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