u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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