I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
