Kareoke will never be a sober sport
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
